Our therapists provide couples therapy in Houston, TX

Alejandra: My go-to approach for helping people in couples/marriage counseling is an eclectic approach. I find the best benefit of an eclectic approach is the flexibility it provides me to adjust to each couple’s needs. Each person within the couple unit has their own set of roles, value systems, experiences, and traditions. I pull tools from Gottman couples therapy; cognitive behavioral, emotionally focused, collaborative, and solution-focused therapies; psychoeducation; and positive psychology to help couples achieve their goals.

Victoria: My go-to approach for helping people in couples/marriage counseling is identifying the concerning problems and learning ways to repair the relationship based on the identified concern. I find the thing with the best benefit is learning to be comfortable with the hard issues because that is what makes a relationship successful in the long run.

Alejandra: I teach the following tools in couples/marriage counseling:

• Emotional regulation and distress tolerance via mindfulness practice, videos, and worksheets. I work with families to attune to each other physically, emotionally, and mentally so they can build insight and confidence in being able to navigate conflicts or disagreements.
• Self-care tools to reinforce emotion regulation skills.
• Cognitive challenging/reframing/refocusing via the use of cognitive triangles and understanding unhelpful thinking patterns. I encourage families to use worksheets/handouts to practice their skills daily and build new habits.
• Exploration of individual roles within the couple unit, and exploration of values (especially with blended families and creating consistency for children).
• Healthy communication skills to create positive/supportive relationships, advocate for needs, and build conflict management skills.
• Healing after affairs.
• Healthy boundary-setting skills that fit within the client’s personal values and couple units (work on compromising skills).
• Positive affirmation and appreciation skills.

Victoria: I feel the following tools should be taught in couples/marriage counseling:

• Identifying healthy relationships
• Identifying wants vs. needs
• Respecting boundaries
• Identifying mutual goals and interests

Alejandra: I know a couple is making meaningful progress in therapy when they can actively listen to one another and validate each other’s emotions in a non-defensive way. These skill sets can help a couple to navigate when there is a difference of opinion or other types of conflict. A couple can also make meaningful progress by demonstrating vulnerability, openness, and/or self-awareness. Each person in the couple unit is unique, brings their own sense of individuality, and plays a role. The more each person is aware of their role in the couple unit and how it impacts others, the more progress the couple can make.

Victoria: I know a client is making meaningful progress in couples/marriage counseling when they are able to identify when relationship issues occur and can use tools learned in sessions to mitigate problems.

Alejandra: Clients can supplement their time in couples/marriage counseling with daily skills practice, or reflections. I try to make a habit of giving my clients small, manageable tasks to practice each day. I spend time with my clients to build these tasks into their current habits or routines to help establish a new pattern/healthy habit. This can include things like sharing appreciation, practicing quality time, communication skills, etc.

Victoria: Clients can spend more time talking to each other about the things that are brought out in sessions to learn how to work through them independently using what they have learned in sessions.

Alejandra: A first couple/marriage counseling session can come with so many different emotions. In a first session, I will typically meet with the couple for the first few minutes and ask about the last few weeks and how the couple first met. After that, I take time to meet with each person individually to get individual perspectives and history and get to know them/understand how they view the world and others around them. It’s important to share as much information as honestly as possible, but my first priority will always be my client’s safety and comfort level. If I ask a tough question, I don’t expect anyone to share every detail — just what they are willing and able to. I encourage my clients to always ask me questions in return because I want my clients to get to know me and feel safe/comfortable. Therapy is most effective when each person can connect with their therapist. You can prepare for therapy further by thinking about your top goal, or what it is that you hope to gain from therapy. This helps me to create a more effective approach that fits the couple’s needs.

Victoria: To prepare for your first couples/marriage counseling session, you can prepare a list of concerns that brought you to counseling and also list the things that brought you together.