Our counselors offer counseling for teens in Toms River, NJ

My go-to approach in helping teens during counseling sessions is to first build a good rapport with them. When I find that common link, I use it as a hook and build upon it. I explain confidentiality so the client and parent(s) understand it is very important, since many teens want to make sure that all their “deepest, darkest secrets” aren't going to be shared. However, they also need to understand that parents will be made aware should they talk about suicide, self-harm, and abuse. I tend to enjoy using dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) with teens because they enjoy several of the different coping skills. When using DBT, clients and counselors practice using coping skills through several different issues. When using DBT, I usually let the teen client know that should they have a pressing situation they want to discuss, then the DBT lesson might be postponed for what they need to discuss.

I teach the following tools in teen counseling:

• Using a journal as a way to dump all thoughts, emotions, and feelings and express them. I also find that everyone tends to rely on the same names for emotions they have been using since elementary school, so I supply either the link or a copy of “The Ultimate List of Emotions.”
• Check the facts. Check out whether your emotional reactions fit the facts of the situation, then we'll change your beliefs and assumptions to fit the facts. This can help you change your emotional reactions to situations.
• Opposite action: When your emotions do not fit the facts, or when acting on your emotions is not effective, acting opposite (all the way) will change your emotional reactions.
• Problem-solving: When the facts themselves are the problem, solving the problem will reduce the frequency of negative emotions.

I know a client is making meaningful progress in teen counseling when they are able to use the different skills they learned as if they are second nature. Also, when the teen is able to identify genuine emotions, what might have triggered them, and then work through the symptoms using a variety of learned coping skills.

Clients can supplement their time in teen counseling by practicing journaling. Many teens have a misconstrued notion as to what a journal is. I explain that a journal is “not” a diary—the teen can write a paragraph, a sentence, or a genuine emotion word (with a blurb as to what caused the emotion), they can draw or even paint how they are feeling, or they can cut words and pictures out and paste them into the journal to make the process more interesting. The teen can also work on their socialization skills, not just using video games to interact, but also in-person interactions, which are important. Teens should practice communication skills as well. This is another way the “Ultimate List of Emotions” could benefit the teen.

I often take a look at some things that might interest teens, such as music, video games, sports, etc. I try not to talk above or below the teen's level of understanding, and I am always ready to answer questions. Remember that teens have a habit of following other teens. There are times when a teen might talk about suicide or self-harm because they hear friends talking about them; I take this talk seriously.