Question:

Hello,
I am a new writer for Examiner.com focusing on blended families. One of the articles I’m currently working on involves preparing children for remarriage and continuing to help them cope with and adjust to their new blended family. I’m hoping you can answer a question:

If you would, thank you in advance for answering this question….What is the one thing you consider to be most important to share with your kids before walking down the aisle again?

After the wedding, what is the top priority for the parent as far as helping the child adjust to life in a blended family?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best,
CZ

Answer:

I would be happy to help! Here are a few thoughts on the topic:

Before walking down the isle with a new spouse, any children from a previous marriage should have time to get to know, and to build a relationship with that new person.

Also, it is important to inform children about what will be changing after the re-marriage. Who is going to be living with who? Will there be any changes in rules? What authority will the new spouse have over them, or will they? Etc.

Assure the child/children that the new spouse (the step-parent) is not a replacement for their original parent, and is not trying to take anyone’s place.

Finally, stress to children what WON’T change. Stress what’s going to remain the same: Your love for them. Their relationship with their other parent. Where they go to school. That their friends can still come over after school. Etc. –It’s important for kids to have a sense of security, especially during times of change–so stressing to them what won’t be changing is very important!

I hope this helps!!

Dr. Anthony Centore,
Thriveworks Counseling and Life Coaching